Updated: Sep 28, 2020
Have you ever been around someone who is pessimistic all the time? Everything that comes out of their mouth is a complaint?
Maybe it is a family member or a co-worker. The thing I have to admit is: I used to be so unhappy a couple years ago, that that person was me. I didn’t complain to strangers, but I unloaded on people close to me, and I know it was a burden to them.
I noticed this trait about myself, and I knew I needed to change. So, I started noticing all the things that were going right in my life instead of the situations that were wrong—and that I had no control over.
The change may have come slowly, but I now can see people who are the pessimists and how draining it is to be around people like that.
I was talking to my sister about it one day. There were a few people that we noticed were constantly complaining and how miserable they make their own lives. I told my sister I don’t want to be like that, and a new life motto came up:
I’m not in the business of feeling bad for myself.
I will not be a person who blames others for my problems. I will not complain about my current life situation. It may not be the life I pictured, but I am going to make it the best life I can.
I realized that when we are in the practice of feeling bad for ourselves, we miss all the good things around us. We miss learning about new people, serving, getting outside of our head to notice that any one person around us may be going through something life altering, or heartbreaking.
This life is not about wallowing in our sorrows. It’s about taking action. Spreading joy. Gaining knowledge. Serving. Look through the clouds to see the sun. Recognize that drowning in sadness takes purpose away. You have a purpose. Choose to be happy. Make the change you need to. Be the drive to make your life what you dream.
Listen, I’m not saying that hard things haven’t come your way. In fact, I can guarantee that you have gone through something hard. But, so has everyone else around you.
Today is a little bit of tough love. I know this may be hard for some of you to hear. But if you want to be happy, to live joyfully, then that is up to you to choose it. If you are constantly blaming others for your problems, if you think the world is out to get you, please take a moment and take a deep breath and take a step forward.
It’s time to begin anew. Leave that mentality behind. What are you going to do today to change your outlook? Maybe you’re going to start a gratitude journal. Maybe you’re going to pick up that phone and apologize. Maybe you’re going to admit that you were wrong. Maybe you’re going to go for a walk outside to clear your head. Maybe you’re just going to stop having the conversation in your head from your perspective, and start thinking about it from their perspective.
Whatever that small step may be, just start now. Not tomorrow, not next week. Start. Right. Now. Take a step, and then tomorrow take another.
If you have the desire, you have the power to change your life. And the choice is yours.